Hello! It’s nice to imagine your bright and shining face again on this lovely week in August. Please once again join us on a cosmic journey through space and time as we sling some highly original digital content to dynamically describe The Top 5 Best Shows in LA This Week.* Sit back. Relax. And enjoy the procrastination from life’s much more pertinent things.

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(*the title of this feature is too dynamic - too good for the music blobs - so let’s repeat it right….NOW)

The Top 5 Best Shows in LA This Week

(in no particular order - except in the order that they are)

#1. Spoon - Hollywood Forever Cemetery - Friday - August 8 - 2014 A.D.

People will be DYING to get into this one. And there’s nothing funny about that #dadjoke or the fact that Spoon just released one of their finest records of their long and storied career in the silverware business. See them play it. The first real zombie or honest-to-goodness mummy to email us a detailed description of what being undead is truly like gets to be our +1.

(Spoon also play a FREE show two days before at Amoeba but we don't need to get into it here)

#2. Upset + All Dogs - Bootleg - Wednesday - August 6 - 2014 A.D.

Upset features ex-members of Best Coast + La Sera + Hole. But it makes us angry when people only talk about Upset’s past because Upset’s present sunny crunchy rock is mad good. Columbus’ All Dogs also play. If you like perfect pop indie punk you should get there early and give them a whirl. If you don’t like perfect pop indie punk, stay away from me. I don’t hang out with monsters. Only zombies and mummies.

#3. HAIM - The Wiltern - Thursday and Friday - August 8 + 9 - 2014 A.D.

HAIM (rhymes with Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme*) are taking over the planet. But in order for them to take that next step and also conquer the stratosphere, they’re going to need a little dynamic digital content help from this here dynamic music blob. The sisters play two shows at The Wiltern with Bleached. U kno what? Bleached b good 2.

(*if we ever open a vegetarian restaurant we’re totally going to call it Love in the Thyme of Cauliflower)

#4. Diarrhea Planet - The Echo - Saturday - August 9 - 2014 A.D.

This is Diarrhea Planet’s world. We’re all just pooping uncontrollably in it.

#5. Roses - Permanent Records - Saturday - August 9 - 2014 A.D.

Roses is a new band that features Juan from Abe Vigoda. They play sad sunshine pop songs that sound happy. Almost like every rose has it’s thorn or something. Hey. That’s a good line. We should use that in a song sometime.

Honorable Mention: Paul McCartney - Dodger Stadium - Sunday - August 10 - 2014 A.D.

I’m not familiar with this man’s work or this intimate venue. But our favorite go-to research source Wikipedia recommended it. Supposedly he’s also “the cute one” and “the walrus” and “a knight.” Whatever the hell all that means.

Honorable Mention Part Deux: Fartbarf - Alex’s Bar - Friday - August 8 - 2014 A.D.

Because with a name like Fartbarf they gotta be good!

(Your move, Diarrhea Planet... your…. move.)